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Welcome to my special edition journal entry.

The Wednesday before I began infusions, I had an appointment at the hospital to get a CT scan. Yup, that’s right. I got the trifecta – ALL the scans! However, this scan was different from the ones I’ve had before. I was made to take my top off, so I was nakey from the waist up, sans robe, and then climb up on top of the table facing backward and placing my girls into two little boxes; yeah, it is as uncomfortable as it sounds, not to mention awkward as hell! I felt like a cow at the 4-H exhibit at the county fair, entirely on display.

Finally, my most mortifying moment up to this point was over. I met up with the women I work with at Drekker/Brewhalla to grab an afternoon beer and to get my mind off what the next five months had in store for me. Little did I know that Whitney, my colleague and close friend, had contacted Katy, my sister, asking for things I would need to get through this awful situation.

These incredible women, Whitney, Molly, Alyssa, Carly, and Hailey, collaborated with Katy to make me a personalized Chemo bag.

I was absolutely blown away by this bag and its sentiment!

First, the bag was perfectly suited to me, down to the pattern—a black-and-white checkerboard, and it had ALL THE POCKETS!

Each pocket had something useful, from gift cards to packets of Cheez-Its, strawberries and cream- Cream Savers, and trail mix to accompany me to my transfusions. I can’t forget my personalized water bottle modeled after the water bottles on Love Island, a guilty pastime for us at Drekker. Covering all the snacks and personal care items in my Chemo bag was a comfy tie blanket with a purple and teal galaxy print made by Whitney, with close supervision by her dog, Louie. That blanket went to every appointment with me, keeping me warm and safe as I was pumped full of poison. Each time I would pull it out of my bag, I got compliments from the nursing staff about how cozy it looked, and it was!

Additionally, there was a card inside my bag, signed by the entire team at Drekker, wishing me a speedy recovery and agreeing with my sentiments of FUCK CANCER. Having worked at Drekker for 8 years up to this point, I knew everyone who worked there, and we were all reasonably close. Instead of wishing me luck and “see ya when it’s done,” Drekker fully backed me up, set me up for success, and checked in occasionally. I will forever be grateful to not be in the group of unfortunate people who had to beg and plead with their employers to do the right thing regarding health care. This is how it should be for everyone, and I don’t care how corny or “r/anti-work” this sounds, the people who run Drekker treat you like family. No matter the situation, they care about the person first, which has run true on more than one occasion.

I left that get-together feeling so happy and loved, as if cancer would now be bearable because I knew I had so many people in my corner. You never really know people until tragedy strikes, and it’s a make-or-break situation; so far, we’ve all made it.

When I got home, I picked up my dog, Sprout, and wrapped him in my new blanket. We spent the afternoon snuggling together while I played Sims 4 to keep my mind off surgery the next day and Chemo the following day. One of my escapes from life, since it was released in 2000, has been playing The Sims, where you can make up a whole new person and a whole new life, and this situation was no different. I built the park where we planned to get married and decorated it as I wanted for our wedding. Sprout approved.

All right, that is it for this entry. Look for my new entry sometime this week, and bring some tissues because it’s gonna get emotional.

Thirty(ish), Flirty, and Surviving,

-KB